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Today - Benjamin's words and ramblings [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Benjamin M S/W a.k.a. <BalsaaTheMagicalGuruGuy>

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Today [Mar. 22nd, 2007|02:03 am]
Benjamin M S/W a.k.a. <BalsaaTheMagicalGuruGuy>
Today was interesting, but then, so is every day.

I found out that FGC is now approved for Spring Carnival, tentatively on Friday. That's April 20th, I think?

Tough day at work, but that's not unusual. My old tutee's (as in, I am their tutor, they are my tutee) younger brother is a lot like her in some ways, both in being awesome and in really really not wanting to get around to doing work. (Funny, that's the same problem I had. Have, rather.) I worked with him today. Also, I'm afraid that my usual tutee might be mad at me for working with him.

Today two people played their songs for the musical for me - Marian and Nathan. Omigosh, I'm so glad I had this idea. I'm excited. I think it's going to turn out very well.

Our underadvertised (thanks to me) show at Skibo went off wonderfully, I thought. Guy Russo was a great opening act - my only regret is that I had to duck in and out so much and eat food and be less of an attentive listener than I would've liked to be. And we had a monitor, upon which we could hear ourselves play, so it was fantastic. And I sang out of tune less than I apparently sometimes sing, because I could hear myself! It was GREAT! Although we DID forget to play the recycling song...

I missed my Long Term meeting (my committee at the Co-op) due to forgetting and forgot the Co-op meeting but did at least come late to that.

Then I had a very interesting conversation, for some parts very entertaining, some parts to the end very sad, with Tomasz and Danielle and Catie and Olof and Deanna and Mike.

I walked outside, feeling a sense of sadness (deep or not). It was almost 2 in the morning, which I didn't know yet but thought it probably was. I walked out from behind the Co-op, towards Neville St.. I was holding an alkaline battery, a box of playing cards, and my library bag with my usual assortment of stuff in it. It could've been the end of a movie.

I wish things could work out for me romantically. I don't necessarily think that's the way my life is supposed to work out, but it seems like that would be very enjoyable and I wish that could be the way my life is supposed to work out. And it seems like Number 3 (that's her number as a major crush of mine) would be a good person for things to work out with.

Actually, what I want right now is more than anything romantic. Probably something spiritual, like "enlightenment". Or to be in tune with everything.

Anyway, bed very very soon indeed. Because that's the first step towards being in tune with everything; in fact, it may even be Nietzche's idea of the ubermensch, for a little bit of it: someone whose will is entirely their own. For me, that means breaking habits, e.g. of reading webcomics. It means doing the work I want to do and the work that I don't even want to do that much and doing well in school, because you know what, I kinda do want to do well. Or to stop caring and then do okay.

Anyway, if you're reading this I love you for being a fabulous person. If you're not reading it, well, I still hypothetically love you. And if you're not a fabulous person, that's okay, I still love you, because you're still a person. And actually, I think my love tends to extend beyond people (and I consider animals people too, soooo...). Yeah. <3s flying everywhere.

I read somewhere or heard someone say something recently, about how, when they didn't think about themselves or how unfortunate this or that was for a long period of time, they were happy. I think I have a similar experience. So long as I'm not getting hung up about not everything being the way I think I want it to be, or obsessing over romantic things, I'm happy and have fantastic times and meet all sorts of interesting people and get to know people better.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: 10101
2007-03-22 10:03 am (UTC)
love you too!
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